Defending the Sri Lankan Penis December 18, 2006Posted by ravana in Uncategorized.
The reputation of the Sri Lankan penis is under attack. I got a call from T today and he was concerned about about Indi’s latest post that covers the Indian penis study as reported by the BBC.
I kind of see T’s point. These things are national secrets. If you suspect your collective national tackle is too small for standard-size condoms, you DON’T do a f*cking study on it and publish the results. The Indians should have kept this more secret than the details of their Indian nuclear programme. (Then again, they didn’t keep that very secret either). What’s with these Indians? Talking about it isn’t going to make it any bigger, is it?
Look at the Chinese. They don’t go around measuring their tackle, no matter how bad their reputation for being less well-endowed. It affects national pride and the equity of your national brand takes a big hit. You could say the Indians did it for a good cause – birth control, but again, the Chinese have the right approach. “Okay, so the condoms don’t fit; lets legalize abortion and have a one-child policy instead.” Priorities man, priorities.
And please, don’t lump Sri Lankans in the same boat. This study was on Indian men, not on Sri Lankans, and there is every reason to think that Sri Lankan males are better endowed than Indians. For one thing, the average Sri Lankan gets better nutrition than the average Indian, as evidenced by the vastly different national health indicators. Quality of nutrition is related to body size and the development of body parts, presumably including the penis. Therefore, the Sri Lankan penis could very well be larger.
Secondly, according, to the study 90% of Indian men have penises shorter than 6.1 inches. That seems pretty extreme to me. A quick check with some Sri Lankan mates of mine, and not a single seems to fit under this range. Admittedly my research method is flawed – the sample size is small, and it is not representative. And, of course, I didn’t go round with a ruler and measure their erect penises. I just asked them… so they could be lying.
Thirdly, there are reasons to think that ecological environments in isolation lead to bigger average specimens of certain species: the bears on Kodiak island, as opposed to the grizzlies in the rest of
Alaska, for instance. Another example, is the Sri Lankan leopard, when compared with the Indian. The climatic conditions on this tropical island are very different to most of
India, and I think there is every reason to think average penis size may well be different. We really can’t make definitive judgments based purely on this Indian study.
I always suspected that there was a reason that Ravana managed to “kidnap” Sita so easily.