A Pink Bunny Liberation Front spokesperson, Georgie Peorgie, pictured here just before taking a practice suicide leap off a marshmallow cliff in Never-Never Land.
Ending an uproar of accusation and speculation, the Pink Bunnies Liberation Front (PBLF) claimed responsibility for the bus explosion in Kebethigollawa yesterday. In an apologetic joint communique to the government and the LTTE, the PBLF claimed the explosion was an unintentional consequence of the annual fireworks display in Never-Neverland. However, due to a freak rip in the fabric of space-time caused by Anura Bandaranaike’s volume-mass ratio, the explosions carried into the real world.
Spokesperson for the Pink Bunnies Liberation Front, Georgie Peorgie said, “We are truly sorry about all of this, chaps, but that’s what comes of you voting for people who drink more than they can think.”
LTTE spokesperson S.P. Thamilselvam said in response, “We told you it wasn’t us. We suspected it was another paramilitary group all along.”
Government representative Kehelgediya Rambutanwalla said, “Boy, I feel sheepish. I guess I’ll have to buy the drinks next time we’re in Oslo.”
Anton Balsahangin said in response, “Okay, but make that Never-neverland. We haven’t been there yet, and I want to check out whether we can move the EU office there. I hear the babes are kind of furry – just the way I like it.”
When contacted for his response to this statement, Prime Minister Pudding’N’Pie of Never-neverland was having his lunch. He said in response, “Please lettuce leaf in peas.”
Quoting an article on Tamilnet, S.P. Thamilselvam said, “The Sri Lankan government should apologise to us. We said this all along.”
The Tamilnet article is reproduced below:
Kebitigollawe attack, senseless violence used for political ends – LTTE
[TamilNet, June 15, 2006 06:34 GMT]
The Claymore attack on Sinhala civilians in Kebitigollawe Thursday morning was “senseless violence used for political ends,” the Liberation Tigers condemning the attack said in press release issued from Kilinochchi. Armed acts targeting civilians “cannot be justified under any circumstances,” the press release said and charged Sri Lankan armed elements who have intensified their attacks on Tamil civilians for political ends, have also begun targeting Sinhala civilians with the aim of blaming the Tigers. The LTTE has urged the International media “not to fall prey for the reprehensible propaganda tactic.”
“The attack in Kebitigollawe timed to occur immediately after the arrival of the LTTE delegation from Europe is a reprehensible act of murders with the sole aim of blaming the LTTE for the attack,” the LTTE Press release said.
Since Geneva talks in February 250 civilians including 24 children have been murdered by GoSL operative forces in the NorthEast, the press release said.
Colombo “has now spread its tactic of using civilian life for political end beyond the Northeast,” the LTTE press release added.