The Trishaw Mafia and the Rape of the Royal Thomian

Thomians Mount Lavinia, Royalists Mount Each Other

Trishaw Mafia is getting ready to take the Royal-Thomian roughly from behind. All signs point to this. On Wednesday, a man in a green Bajaj was spotted buying a bottle of lube oil in Panchikawatte. Rumours were flying around like canteen flies by Thursday, and by the weekend, several of the fairer boys were flexing their muscles in anticipation.

Personally, I do my best to avoid buggery. Always have done. At last year’s Big Match, Indi was not so lucky. And so, with this year’s Royal Thomian weekend looming ever closer (8th,9th, 10th of March), I decided to protect the structural integrity of my posterior by paying off the Trishaw Mafia. I bought a t-shirt, thus clearly establishing myself as a morally redundant heterosexual. Here’s the t-shirt I bought:

Behind every great Royalist is a woman with a Thomian lover

I must say for a bunch of unruly trishaw driving chaps, Trishaw Mafia make great t-shirts. Their designs are unique, and are restricted to just fifteen numbers per design, so you know that every Tom, Dick and Perera is not going to be wearing one. They also do XXL sizes, which is great, because it is extremely difficult to find anything cool larger than XL in Colombo. Also, their service is personalised, and they will create a design especially for you if you order more than 15 numbers. I know they did a great one for quiz team Osama’s Bush.

The best thing of all is their culturally relevant sense of humour. The t-shirts help you get a conversation started with anybody, especially the opposite sex. It breaks the ice. A friend of mine wore the “Aaah… Nangi” design for something as tame as an afternoon of shopping at Crescat, and he said that no less than three random girls came up to him individually and asked him about the t-shirt. Not that we need t-shirts to charm the ladies mind you, but I’m just saying… lets all be aware of this positive externality, so it does not catch us offguard. This is t-shirt eclecticism at its best.


Of the current designs available for the Royal Thomian, I have been informed that in order to get the t-shirts in time, Trishaw Mafia has to confirm orders to the manufacturer by Wednesday morning. If you want to buy any of the Big Match designs, especially the two new ones they created over the weekend this is your last chance.  



19 thoughts on “The Trishaw Mafia and the Rape of the Royal Thomian

  1. Being devilishly handsome helped too but the Ah… Nangi t-shirt did act as a super ice breaker… The girls were somewhat less than hot though

  2. Ugly girls have cute friends. It’s called the Theory of Relative Attractiveness, or as I like to call it, Fat Chicks Have Hot Friends Who Befriend Them Because They Feel Sorry For The Fatty Who Will Never Get Any Action, Not Even From Rover When They Have Peanut Buttered Themselves In Their Special Area.

  3. Being a loyal customer, I’m somewhat disappointed at the conservatism and unfortunate reversion to homosexuality as the main theme of this year’s collection.

  4. Having conducted meticulous market research and listened carefully to our focus groups, we took time to reflect on the possible ramifications of, as you say, reverting to homosexuality as part of the design ethic on the shirts.

    Then we had a shot of toxic ra and thought ‘F*ck ’em if they can’t take a joke’. The jibes about homosexuality and a chronic inability to ‘get girls’ are essential to the sophisticated sense of humour of the roytho. The shirts merely reflect that which is already present in the minds of the audience.

    It was on the tip of everyone’s tongue. Tyler and I just gave it a name.

    And wait till you see the shirt design!

  5. If you guys were really couragous you’d have made some joke targetting
    some religion or atleast some ethnic group and then said “****‘em if they can’t take a joke”
    But since you guys are cowards, you chose a safe target!

  6. Hey Mr. Trishawmafia we bin waitin to hear from yo ass (not that way maaan!) bout dose sales dat come offa dose posts we done fo yo. Now bein ssochiated wit dat ol school by da sea an all dat sheet, we be hoping fo a fine-ass tee shirt to wear on dat big match day an all, so we be hearin from your ass (no! down boy!) soon right?

  7. If you were associated with the school by the sea you probably wouldn’t write in such pain in the arse fashion too.

    Tyler and you passed on some far more provocative material. I’m just pissed my suggestions weren’t taken. They were awesome. Ignorami(uses).

  8. [blockquote]conservatism and unfortunate reversion to [strikeout]homosexuality[/strikeout] homophobia[/blockquote]


  9. it only me or is this “trishomafia” partial towards the thora malu!

    cos i do not see a shirt that says “behind every thomian there is a woman with a royalist” lover?

    Ok……. aint it high time that the thomians stop their nefarious activities to look marginally better than the Royalists? cos we all know who won the recent battle of the blues:) 😛

    i really pity the girls who would go speak to a guy just cos he wears a cool shirt!. I would rather prefer classier girls who fall for better things than just a tshirt:)(pun intended?).But then again im already taken.LOL

    When we printed our Royal shirts we had an awesome line that said

    “Royalists; a different breed
    Born to succeed”

    and the funny thing is girls fall for it not only in lanka. Rolfmao!

    anyways..wishing another year of eating paripu in the field for the Malus out here:)


  10. I see they are at

    They most assuredly are smart and clever at design. However I doubt the appropriateness of some of the design.

    As an example, any woman (no I am not a woman; nor am I a Thora – neither figuratively nor literally!) should speak up loudly in protest against the sleaziness of and the demeaning of women in the two designs for “Ah >Nangi”. I and most decent people do not want to have to see drawings of almost naked women on somebody’s T-Shirt when we are out in public.

    “Drink First, Sex Later” and the other designs which over emphasise alcohol are quite clever designs and that is a fact. But as to parading such on one’s clothing… well, any criticisms would fall on deaf ears of the audience misguidedly thinks that heavy drinking and drunkeness and free sex is alright.

    It would be wonderful if the artistic designers put their great talents to creating T-Shirts with more meaningful and moral messages. They are certainly talented people, and that’s a fact.

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