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Assassination Attempt on Maumoon Abdul Gayoom, President of the Maldives January 9, 2008

Posted by ravana in Uncategorized.

In many ways, the Republic of the Maldives is to countries what bonsai is to trees. Most things in the Maldives happen in miniature. The GDP is less than three billion dollars, the capital is only one kilometre wide, and the population, despite the fact that they do it like rabbits, is only 300,000 strong.

I knew these things about the Maldives. However, I assumed the miniature characteristics were largely to do with demography and limiting economies of scale. So, I was caught by surprise when I read about the miniature assassination attempt on the Maldivian President, Maumoon Abdul Gayoom, yesterday.

Apparently, some Maldivian chap attempted to assassinate their President with a kitchen knife. Coming from a country with a raging internal conflict, personally, I am used to slightly more specialized weaponry. Like a suicide bombing. Or a Claymore mine. Or an AK-47. I find it difficult to comprehend a political assassination with a sharp pointed object first invented in the paleolithic era. It was not even a sword, a machete, or a rambo knife that was used; it was a kitchen knife, presumably stolen from a mother or a wife in the middle of cooking a tuna curry. How quaint, how homegrown… 

How bloody ineffective. Predictably, the assassination attempt with the kitchen knife failed. The President’s life was saved by a boyscout, armed to the teeth with scarf and woggle, who happened to be standing nearby.

No, I refuse to go there. I know I could make jokes about the boyscout and the lack of a trained security detail, but I won’t. Traditionally, I am used to presidential security comprising of highly trained men skilled in martial arts and the use of weapons, committed beyond life and limb to protect the body of their elected leader. However, I am willing to admit that this may be just a cultural difference. Who am I to judge? If assassins in the Maldives only use kitchen knives, maybe all you need is a boyscout to save your ass. 


Traditional Boyscout Uniform


1. midde - January 10, 2008

well well not bad, i guess its maldivian way of doing things.they say small is beautiful,so y not start everything at a small scale, the fucking srilankans first used to kill tamils without a reason in a large scale and when they responded with an AK 47 srilankans were really fucked up and they start asking mothers for a suck.SO again sri lankan way is also not bad. fucking sri lankans

2. shiruhaan - January 10, 2008


im from from maldives . and what u mansiond is right. but what i belive is that this whole act is one of the plays of president gayoom to take peoples mind of the constitutional government campaign. and to get sympathy for him self from us. we may be a lil stupid but not enough to buy this crap.

3. naz - January 10, 2008

i think they both are friends and jaisham knew that murushid was going to do otherwise jaisham could not have acted so quickly.
i think it is too early to call him a hero. this is what i think after reading police informations.

4. AK - January 10, 2008

talk about conflict and terrorism, I guess you should look at srilanka, where people are dying to kill each other for no reason. Bomb blast and outrage happens almost everyday and you have no hope of returning home safely if you get on the streets. even though its on your daily headlines, it is considered as a miniature in the world news. And there had being 2 or 3 assasinations of your presidents despite of the “experienced” security forces that your country has aquired. and thanks to the tamils, who flew a friggin cesna with home made bombs and blasted your beautiful airport recently.so I suggest you take a look at your own shit before pointing out at others.srilankan asses!.

5. Red Bull - January 10, 2008

better your fuck on a knife, and it will be much better if you try with Nasreena. hee heeee heeeeeeeeeee. of your mother fucking gassaan maumoon.

6. SN - January 10, 2008

loved your post. think you captured the “assasination attempt” perfectly. taking miniature baby steps, its taken 30 years to even get to this stage, and the man is still in power. now i dont believe that kitchen knives are the way to solve the problem. but then noting the miniature and fragile nature of our geography, especially after the tsunami, i dont think claymore mines would work either, we’re owed atleast 50 years more above sea level. well barely above sea level. there’s a joke in my family that whenever something big happens in maldives, Sri Lanka always steals her thunder. We have a tsunami, you have a bigger one. We had a protest, big enough to be covered by BBC, and then over in SL, Kadirgama gets killed. there’s an assasination attempt on our president, two explosions go off in colombo in one day and kills one ‘non cabinet’ minister.
again, loved your post. humour is always welcome in such ridiculous circumstances. my fellow countrymen who are taking this too seriously, are taking themselves too seriously. we’ve been living under a dictator for 30 years, an attempted attack on his life, foiled by a boy scout is just a little too hilarious. laugh about it, save the anger for the president.

7. Caio - January 10, 2008

Ohhhh? I feel bad about your on self. I never saw a person how has fucked, his own security. Mother fucker you have shown to the public that your securities have no power or the qualities, to save your ass. What the fuck…….. I think, Mr: Ziyaad you should screw Nasreena or Dhuyaa before you suck Moumoon dick. Next time you be more care full other wise I may screw you up, sun of the bitch.

8. Irish - January 10, 2008

I agree both of you, its a complete play produce and directed by the Gayoom goverment. When they knew its going to happen, where were all his body guards . What happen to them. Wake up people

Please please don’t step on his trap. Tomorrow will be a better than today forget about the screen play and drama of gayoom. Start playing youru own games, let him know we all can play better than him (gayoom). Wake up and work hard for all of us. If we get together we can all do what we want for 2008 ellection for a NEW president. Now its time to STOP listening the crap by gayoom goverment.

9. yaamyn - January 10, 2008

haha! Yup, we Maldivians are slowly, but surely getting there. Our first ‘bomb blast’ was a few weeks back, and now this. It wasn’t too long ago that we changed some of the cops uniforms so that the ‘Police’ can be differentiated from the ‘Army’.
To assassinate the president of a country with a kitchen knife! That’s headline stuff! In a MAD mag maybe! lolz! And who saves the day? A Boy Scout! Hee-larious!
Nice article… ignore the conspiracy theories, and the mind-numbingly stupid racist chants. We got too many of them for mini-nation. :-p Keep up the good work!

10. yaamyn - January 10, 2008

Caio said : “Ohhhh? I feel bad about your on self. I never saw a person how has fucked, his own security. Mother fucker you have shown to the public that your securities have no power or the qualities, to save your ass. What the fuck…….. I think, Mr: Ziyaad you should screw Nasreena or Dhuyaa before you suck Moumoon dick. Next time you be more care full other wise I may screw you up, sun of the bitch.”

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaha! Brought tears to my eyes!! Funny shit! … and he summed it up with ‘Sun of the bitch!’ hahahahaaaaaaa!

11. Razzaaq Kada - January 10, 2008

Hey Ravana,

I hate to admit it. but youre right.

Even Ive never heard of an attempted assassination or an assassination of a president with a knife hehe, Its due to the predicament we are in my friend.

Civilians dont have guns and are not allowed to come into possession of guns (By law) and ive never even heard of a civilian smuggling a gun or possessing one

Yeah we are a sort of a mini-state, but think its way better than a “normal” state like you for instance hehehe YOU GUYS ARE REALLY FUCKED MAN ,We are nothing compared to ure sorry asses hehehe

Face it we are
a) richer
b) smarter (debatable if u count accounts as knowledge)
b)better looking (plus better smelling)
c) In Peace
d)Fucking living the “mini” life

Everytime shit happens here we look towards you my friend a


12. anth - January 10, 2008

90 per cent of maldivians hate our current leader gayoom who has been ruling the country with an iron fist for the past three decades. and we are quite aware that this was a staged act by gayoom to get public sympathy which he thinks would help him win the coming election later this year.

now about the writer of this blog. if u think ur country is big in things like fucking up urself, suicide bombing and killing each other then we totally agree with that. but we are better than you in all good ways. u sound like a racist shit to me bro. get a life. and good luck with your big dream of becoming a columnist for a mini news paper one day.

13. Ayya - January 10, 2008

It’s plain and simple, The authour envies the Maldivians. Emphasised on the GDP being less than 3 Billion but conveniently forgot to mention per capita income.
Maybe the reality that of his own land being fucked up so badly for the last god knows how many years has resulted in his brain matter being “mega mini”
Get a life son. before it’s too late.

14. marley - January 10, 2008

hehehe..maldives is a peace ful country we got no bombs or ak 47 like sri lanka…lanka is fucked up..but it would have been good if the prez died

Fuck maldivians.. - December 20, 2014

Hey u ass hole….first understand that your country is shitty small…so you Fuckers dont understand war … Fuck yourselves with some dry fish…,when tamils were killing all ppl and trying to catch up da country,,, wat was da army supposed to do? Bitches… We got lions to save our nation. … Keep ur ideas out cuz u are jus a small country bt big mouths… Hate u ppl….shit

15. nabith - January 10, 2008

ayya n anth, i totally agree with ya bros. this lousy SOB seems to luv actin a smartass with no brains. wake up into wat we call is life kid. and do us all a fav and put some effort into writin somethin better. piss-poor job. thnx for wastin my coffee time…

16. Razzaaq Kada - January 10, 2008

Nooney ekuveri Dhivehinn ney

mi kaleyge liyumuga eba huri kommeves vareh ge ottareh

Eh soru eh dhakkanee thedhu vaahaka thakeh

Namaves mi soru ge magsashakee aharunn “fahku” kurunn kann varah rangalha miliyumunn saabithuvey

hehheh Fadaboebala Raveena (komme nameh viyas), aharunn fahkeh nuvaane – thirunndin haadha J veyey dho


This is an excellent piece of work Ravana, Please keep writing more similar gems.

17. Razzaaq Kada - January 10, 2008

BTW kitchen knife aa laigenn halann veenun Ravana


Kitchen Knifes are sharp and should be eradicated from this world

18. Thakuru - January 10, 2008

No worries, all these comments are from moron members from MDP (opposition party)..Who know they cannot beat Maumoon so they went for their only and their favourite action..VIOLENCE..

19. Rifaau - January 10, 2008

fuck you… we maldivians are no rabbits. be careful with your words.

20. ahmed - January 10, 2008

Its not right to blame anyone unless you have proven. so no need of blaming MDP or any other religious party or groups. lets not forget what had happened during the black friday and after words. from the past experiance we know gayyoom will do anything to protect his kngdom.
I personally know one incident that the president him self has been supported three young maldivian to become a monk and they had attended to ANNI’s house, while anni was house rest.
So tell me who really wanna create VIOLENCE…..

21. Premadasa - January 10, 2008

Unlucky, not even a boyscout was there to save your President some years back, when he was exploded to thin air, by a weak skinny fella in the middle of the street. I wonder what the highly trained and skilled Srilankan bodyguards were doing!

Make some sense when you write! Writing bull shit is perhaps the best you can produce!

22. maldivian mosaic - January 10, 2008

true. What Gayyoom has to do is hire a sixteen year boy scout.

23. F.A - January 10, 2008

This is such a classic. I wish I had written it myself. Cogratulations! Such a pitty that my fellow Maldivians could not take the humour.

24. Golhabo Fadaboe - January 10, 2008

Aparently his palm reader has told him that he would die from a man’s hand. So I guess he wanted to politically motivate his opportunity to get some sympathy off the public, atleast to keep there minds off the interim government. He’s just a sick fuck who wouldnt let go of his stand!

25. ignore the monkeys - January 10, 2008

Oh man, you guys are just too dumb to get the irony of the post! Jeez, you’ve gotta be really dumb.

Good post man – love you sense of humour.

26. Maumoon - January 10, 2008

The truth is this:
Whenever the country’s attention is focused on something, funny things like this happen in Maldives that could bring the focus and sympathy of the people back to the Dictator. This is a repeated game of a different version from the aged Dictator of our country. The whole country’s attention these days focused on the “National Unity Alliance”, who began a political trip to north of the country.
Remember the political downturn last year and then suddenly the Coastguard captured a Tamil gun running boat!
Are these all coincidence?

27. Golhaa - January 10, 2008

Very funny!
The scout boy’s version is so different in different moments. He keeps on upgrading his version from time to time. Now Golhaabo (Dictator) would be sending him to Singapore for his medicals and later he will be financed for his higher studies abroad from government.
Such a tricky bastard, the aged Dictator is!

28. Thakuru - January 10, 2008

So what if he is sent to singapore or even any other place on earth..He has saved a president of a country and and he deserves it..Get a life morons..He maybe an dictator but is thousands times better then MDP and their Thugs..YES send the national hero for further studies and you MDP idiots can do is shout..hehe

29. Silky - January 10, 2008

Velaanaage Renames as jaisham memorial building , coz Jaisham is the last hero of maldives like mohamed thakurufaanu or Rannamaari

30. dhurumee - January 10, 2008

The Government of Maldives is planning to keep a book available just infront of Medhuziyaariy to make possible to everyone in writting their feelings against the attempt to stab beloved President Gayoom.

So, please have a quality pen to engrave everyone’s feelings against this attempt and let this news continue till the end of the year 2020. Also, I wish our school exam papres may too have some questions on this regard and let your childrens learn this news by heart.

Our aim must be to make that this news as similiar news to 9/11 New York Tower blast.

Keep your eyes on local TV and open your ears wide to the local radio station 24 hours around the clock to learn more and more about the attempt.

Stay in touch with this news only.

31. raajjetherey soru - January 10, 2008

the only thing that we maldivian need from qayyoom is his resignation.thats aa

32. hiya - January 10, 2008

if i were president , i would send jiasham for high edcation to ciro.there you can get best education. yes ofcours on maldivian govt. expenses.

33. Ahmed Rasheed - January 10, 2008

the comments from maldivians in this blog…pathetic..i m sad to say i m from maldives too…these comments lack maturity..a primary student would think and write better …Thank Allah president was unhurt and further blood shed was prevented.

34. ravana - January 10, 2008

Thanks for all the comments. The response to this post has been enormous, with a record number of hits, mostly coming from the Dhivehi Observer website, which I understand is a leading newssource for Maldivian news.

Most of the comments from Maldivians on this post seem to fall into one of two categories – those that see the humour and appreciate it, and those who think I have set out to insult the Maldivians and their president.

My intention was not to insult the Maldives or the Maldivian people, or their president. I was just pointing out the humour in an incident, which in all honesty, I find a little ridiculous, much like many many things about my own country, which I have also regularly made fun of on this blog. There are many great things about the Maldives which I have not pointed out; and similarly, there a lot of much worse things than appearing miniature, which I have not mentioned either.

For all those gunning for a debate on which country is better, I am sorry to disappoint. I am not going to get into a penis comparing contest. Thanks for the attention, and I hope you read the rest of the blog, and come back often. Cheers.

35. ravana - January 10, 2008

Having said that, I would like to find out a little more about the Maldivian political situation. Why exactly has Gayoom been in power for so long?

36. Thakuru - January 10, 2008

A stupid question from a Moron..He has been in power because majority of the people has been loving him..and still does as it will prove in the next election..At the moment people are in other party not because they hate gayoom but they want a change, a new person, a new leader with some modern ideas..Gayoom has done a lot to the coutry, although not as much he could have done, but the fact remains he has done a lot and all we want is a change of person..So ravana if you dont have any idea about maldives politics this is not the right place and th right technique to get the right answers..I thought you would know better then that..Jaisham is a hero and will remain as a hero

37. Pissed Off Maldivians Invade the Blog! « ravana.wordpress.com - January 10, 2008

[…] January 10, 2008 Posted by ravana in Uncategorized. trackback Maldivians are going crazy on my last blog post. I wrote what I expected to be received as a humorous article about the failed assassination […]

38. thilhaamengethereyn balheh - January 10, 2008

Kery soraku valhieh hifaigen nukutheema kon felumeh.. mifaharu verikama kurimathilaan emme fennanee valhi haran ulhunu soraa gayoom.. eyrun gayoom hoveynenu.. dhen neh kerey lhaaeh. balaaehnu.. geygathibegen thi feliaruvanee boiegen thibe.. thilhaamen ge gaumuga gayoom fada ugulheema thithibenee beethaavefa..
thilhaamennah ekasheegenvanee masthuvefa huri balheh verikamah laan. eyrun mihaaru thifeleygothah feleykah nuthibeyne… supply fennah synide alhaa maraalafaane.. dhen midhinee idea eh.. hakuru boa alaathun maran.. hakuraa mix kuran rangalhu ehcheh.. libeyne varah faseyhain aiykankuraa meehun athun.. rangiritee kuranthoacheh gengulhenee.. hakurboa alaaiygandu dhuvas dhuvaalun gayoom verikamun beylumah vure muhimmu.. varikameh ves onnaanee heybudhivaa zuvaanun thibigennehnu..
varah salaam

39. ravana - January 10, 2008

Thakuru, thanks for your reply. As much as I’d like to believe you about the “Gayoom-rules-by-the-will-of-the-people” argument you put forward, I have a little trouble doing so. The main reason for this is that many of the elections held in the Maldives, do not seem to have been contested by any other candidates. So, are these free and fair democratic elections, or just bogus referendums to give the veneer of democracy? If there is an opposition Maldivian Democratic Party, why are there no opposition candidates running for president? And what do you make of criticisms of Gayoom on the wikipedia article?

“Gayoom has been harshly criticized by many for his autocratic rule, and he is widely considered to be a dictator. He has been accused of nepotism, because several family members, in-laws and close relatives of him held high posts in his government and cabinet. According to Amnesty International, in the year 2003, “there were severe restrictions on freedom of the press, and political parties were unable to function.” Anti-government riots broke out in the country in September 2003 following a prison shooting incident. Opposition to the president has come in the form of the Maldivian Democratic Party. Political prisoners are often banished to remote atolls. Gayoom was also the defense minister and finance minister of the Maldives for a long time, but gave up these positions on September 1, 2004, following international pressure, and media and public ridicule.”


40. golhaaboa - January 10, 2008

hmmmm hmmm kewl post! love it! may be some have taken the post out of context😛

41. golhaaboa - January 10, 2008

there is a whole lotsa stuff on dhivehiobserver if you wanna know abt the maldives. just take a look at em.

42. Pombula Kallan - January 10, 2008

Ravana, I am much more surprised to see a journalist like you specialized in weaponry like you specified, suicide bombs, claymore mines, or an AK-47. Of course, army generals and cpommanders speak good english, but I doubt you are one. For instance, the police officers in most of the check points in Colombo speak very little english and and when we Maldivians are stopped at these check points in Colombo, and when we are asked to provide our passports, we give them our passports and then they ask for our National ID cards, and they also ask wierd questions like where we are from. This is the status of SriLanka, now what can you compare from us Maldivians, especially when we have a population of a little over 300,000 and you SriLankans with a population of over 20 million people. I suggest you write articles for what you call the new source of the Maldives, Dhivei Observer (DO). Mr.Sappe is very accurate with his news sources by the way, probably the only news agency in the world where no news reporters gets paid but works voluntary for the fact they all hate President Gayoom so much because all of them are law breakers and convicts who hates the Government because they just can’t follow the law and do not want to follow the law. Good to see you side with Sappe, keep it up…

43. thekillromeoproject - January 10, 2008

Hey Ravana, it looks like you were wrong about one thing when you said the Maldives were miniature….. you didn’t know they had such a huge egos…….and such huge tempers……lol

44. theleftback - January 10, 2008

the shit has hit the fan …the island where the attempt took place is famous for there manual electrical fans.Now Ravana seems to have touched a lot of our peoples nerves yet I think your analysis is quite accurate and rounds us Maldivians feeble attempts in everything we do. The pathetic bodyguards were praised even when it was the boy guard who got the job done. i think we should hold our egos in check and look at it clearly before making a judgment on peoples views,especially you being Srilankan where everyday you wonder who’s gonna be killed or will you make it home by end of the day.PS don’t mention the fan to anyone youll probably get butcherd by a butter knife

45. ddm - January 10, 2008

and i thought maldivians are laid back. what an assault!

46. ravana - January 10, 2008

Pombula Kallan, “The Law’? Is n’t Gayoom the law in the Maldives? Isn’t he, or wasn’t he, the head of the judiciary, the legislature AND the executive, which means that he has complete dictatorial rule?

47. Not A Srilankan Monkey - January 10, 2008

Anha!..Srilankan monkeys at it again..Don’t worry you can have our dumb fuck of a president..Let your budda have anal sex with him..Why mock at the fellow using kitchen knife when you Srilankan morons tried to take over Maldives in the 1990s killing many of us civilians but still at the end got but raped and couldn’t kill Maumoon with all ur AK 47s

48. raabollaa - January 10, 2008

fuck u man, our president is the best…u can do nothing to him. he will still win the election even if all the parties stand againt him coz he still hav more than 90% support from public, so better not to write these craps n suck ya mothers ass…fucking

49. himaaru - January 10, 2008

how da fucking u say bad things to our cotry…u knw we luv our country unlike u people… fuking we wont giv any chance to any fuking biches to destroy our nation’s good name…ur idiotic ideas r not gonna work n u pple r gonna end up with fucking hell… if u wanna do anything just go ya fucking mom n ask for a deliciouse suck of ya fucking dick…dats the best thing dat u can do right now coz ya country z worse dan hell

50. Makana - January 10, 2008

Thank you Ravana for not believing in Gayoom, and we are grateful that you have offended him. Offend him as much as you want and we Maldivians will love you. Dhivehiobserver is all about offending him and we just love it, we are addicted to it, everyday the first thing we do in the morning is have a look at DO.

Now I have a question for you? tell me… why have you Sri-Lankans been so nice to this ass of a man for 30 years when he has been abusing us and oppressing us? You even have a bloody native orchid named after his wife. This is heartbreaking from our beloved Sri-Lankan friends

51. friendly neighbourhood Maldivian - January 10, 2008

haha. sad but bloody true eh. you think?
what fickle lil simple creatures we Maldivians are. We should take life-lessons from our friendly neighbourhood Lankans and go at our dear prez with elephant harnesses while in the guise of synthetic bow-legged beggers in sarongs. or maybe simply borrow some tips from the Sri Lankan armed forces who use systematic rape and murder of women to subjugate the opposition population. Kudos to your well-advanced 2 million-over great population indeed.!

52. zaka - January 10, 2008

wots going on man….be calm.

53. gang - January 10, 2008

hehehehhee….i think he has gone tooo wilde but he deserves it for sure

54. ravana - January 10, 2008

Raabollaa – How do you know he will have more than 90% support from the public in a free and fair election?

You may not be used to freedom of speech in the mainstream Maldivian press, but this is my blog and I can say what I want. So if you have an argument to support what you’re saying, lets hear it, otherwise run the risk of sounding like an empty vessel.

55. lover - January 10, 2008

sri lanka cannot be compared to maldives man, try to admit the truth when it is on ur sight

56. raabolla - January 10, 2008

last election was free and fair from ma point of view…president was elected from the parliment…there was not even a single vote against him from the parliment members…i agree that we were no democratic then, so u cant say it was not free and fair coz no one forced those opposition members like shihab voting for maumoon, they did it willingly man.and the voting was shown live from the national tv. people were allowed to see the election by attending to the parliment….if ever there was anything wrong in last election, it was the problem of the system that we had, the system of our election….we hav to change the system and the talk abt the free and fair election…now wait and see who wins the up comming election with all democratic systems and ideas.

57. Ammadey - January 10, 2008

free and fair? in Maldives? Hmmm I wonder what free and fair means in Maldives? Does it mean torturing the opposition in Jail? Does it mean killing of innocent civilian lives? When it comes to elections, We get 100% record from most islands for Gayoom. Are we dumb enough to believe that, when so many people complain from those islands that they have voted against him? When the result of decent is getting tortured, most people dont wanna lose their life to defy against the “free and “fair” elections in Maldives.

58. asshole - January 10, 2008

ravana go n fuck ur mom

59. asshole - January 10, 2008

ammadey u better suck ravana’s asshole

60. Ahmed - January 10, 2008

A 16 year old is enough to save our nation and our leaders.He has proved that every Maldivian is equally capable.We stand united against any danger to our country.

Tamil tigers and crazy Sri lankans could do no harm to our country.
Dhivehi gaumu kuriya

Sheetha - March 1, 2010

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU,AHMED!!!!!!our country rocks!
gaumu kuriya!!!!!!!!!

61. rajendhra - January 10, 2008

being a sri lankan, i respect our belove neighbor malvives. ravana, wat u taling abt here z completly wrong n i think u need to update ur info….

62. Amaa Mudhi - January 10, 2008

Ravana..Why don’t you put the kitchen knife in your ass hole and suck on Maumoons dick at the same time….Lanka Orin..balaayeh..

63. Rabbit - January 10, 2008

Fuck you
We fuck like rabbits??
i prefer to fuck your grandma on her toothless mouse u smelly son of a bitch.

64. Sinkom - January 10, 2008

Guys..Guys… This Ravana is a Hindu.. Probably a Tamil.. a bloody Indian Origin troublemaker like all Hindus are…Do you know about these fucking Hindus cut open pregnant muslim women in Gujrat?..Hindus hate Muslims..These blood thirsty savages hates us because Maldives is a Muslim country… Fuck you Ramana..Fuck your Cow and Ram and go suck Krishnas dick..

65. Fai - January 10, 2008

I think the attempt is enough to shake the fragile old bagpipe; Mamoon. He was shaken, weak and unable to even talk immediately. He decline to shake hands with residents of Baarah cause he is histerical. Well it took 30yrs for him to see his nightmare materialised. Maumoon was so worried about his life, about assasins & coups even when he took oath as a president the first time. Now I believe Maumoon will sooner leave us alone. Hail Murushid

66. faisal - January 11, 2008

madhen dhah kaame maa bodu vaahakaeh neh maumoon lhai vari kamun faiban vehje kan mashah engenee

67. unique girl - January 11, 2008

we love our president:)

68. Our typical Maldivian reaction - January 11, 2008

there it goes again…. our typical Maldivian reaction… which is basically… overreacting…. the bunch that love the old dude is now thanking god for his survival while the other bunch is screaming conspiracy, and surprisingly disappointed that the president wasn’t hurt….

and of coz lets not forget our racist and hypocritical tendancies… call the author of the blog.. how did one commenter put it? ” a bloody Indian Origin troublemaker like all Hindus are “… riiiiiiiiiiight!!!! now we are very comfortable with that arnt we? but oh no!!! when Muslims are targeted for some reason or the other.. (lets say for the sake of argument.. terrorism) we’d wanna hit the roof an scream jihaaaaaaaaaad!!! dont we? what a sad sad situation….

days like these, i have to sit back and cover my head with a wet cloth, coz i cant comprehend how some of our countrymen think… and act…..

psssssssst… consipiracy or not!!! the old dude’s jus almost about clinched the next election…. tons of sympathy votes.. ( yeah i know… by now most of you would be screaming out ur delusions abt a free an fair election going to some opposition party…. dream on… majority of the population would still vote for maumoon… the rest of the wankers are too occupied with power plays to lay down any solid polcies or plans to sway the public opinion…. we need a little bit more than “golhaa faibaa” from the opposition to hold any interest)..

cheers… kudos to you ravana loved your article!!

69. Hassan - January 11, 2008

nagoobalha.. thilhaa amaa fuey veedhebala.

Congrats.. keep up the good work

70. justmal - January 11, 2008

Maldivians are puny midgets.

71. Muru - January 11, 2008

Awesome !! Man, you got sense of humour. Loved your article.

72. Vitch - January 11, 2008

When you mentioned that our GDP is miniature, you missed the fact that our Budget deficit is a record big amount.:)
When you mentioned our GDP again, you missed the fact that we are the highest per capita in South Asia. (yeah, Sri lanka is lower)
When you mentioned that our population is only a 300,000 strong, you missed the fact that our capital Male holds the record of the most densely populated city in the world.
So we f%$# like rabbits and reproduce like them. (like all mammals do), Maybe your women lay eggs somewhere and you guys go and fertilize them with your sperms like the fish do. hehe,
When you mentioned our president, you missed the fact that he is ‘longest’ serving leader in all of Asia.
There are some thing which Lanka holds records for. Like the ‘Name tag’ of any official uniform would be 3 meters wide (have longest names in the world). hehe.

Nothing perosnal dude. All fun, nice article, Very true in many ways.

73. Ahmed - January 11, 2008

“In many ways, the Republic of the Maldives is to countries what bonsai is to trees. Most things in the Maldives happen in miniature. The GDP is less than three billion dollars, the capital is only one kilometre wide, and the population, despite the fact that they do it like rabbits, is only 300,000 strong.”

After reading that, any Maldivian who loved this piece of crap rant, sure have to be a bunch of self loathing pricks. I don’t think the author would have written the way he did, if he knew his blog would be read by so many Maldivians.The racist comments are not called for either.

74. davidblacker - January 11, 2008

Ha ha ha this must be the most entertaining set of comments I’ve seen since moju shut down. And Ravana, your article wasn’t half bad either. I guess the Maldivian sense of humour’s miniature too.

BTW, for those Maldivians who didn’t notice, the 1987 invasion was by former TELO and TNA terrorists (not LTTE), hired by a Maldivian businessman under the instigation of India. The GoSL offered to come kick their butts, but India sent it’s troops first (surprise surprise). Now India has a permanent base in the Maldives.:)

Anywaay, if you really wanna kill your prez we can send a couple of suicide bombers over. They don’t seem to be too effective against the GoSL.

75. Shual - January 11, 2008

davidblaker, Please keep the suicide bombers for yourself. We in Maldives don’t support killing innocent, raping women and letting the country go into a shit hole with mindless killing and war like Srilankans do.

76. SN - January 11, 2008

the majority of comments following this article have been such an embarassing representation of Maldivians. we now come off as racist, arrogant pigs. and u cannot compare the political situation in sri lanka with the maldives. its not on the same scale, nor the same context. get over yourselves. its supposed to be funny! this is not about sri lanka vs. maldives. neither country is in a postition to try an compete about who is better of at the moment.

77. Planet Apex - January 11, 2008

LOL, it’s very funny. sorry most Maldivians here don’t see the lighter side. Some of the comments they’ve left here are many times worse.

78. Planet Apex - January 11, 2008

Wise words, totally agree with you.

“this is not about sri lanka vs. maldives. neither country is in a postition to try an compete about who is better of at the moment.”

79. justmal - January 11, 2008

Maldivians are Muslims. Enough said.

80. Scout who likes to save presidents ass from assasins - January 11, 2008

fuckin president dont have a fuckin guard to save his fuckin ass, what a fuckin president. i agreee with the fucking artical writer, all this dictator need is a fuckin scout.

81. aadhavan - January 11, 2008

This really is hilarious:-) All this threads needs is an Indian to join the party. Perhaps justmal can fill in that role- seems like a culturally integrative sort of chap…

82. Sympathies - January 11, 2008

after reading your article i immediately saw a profile of a LOOSER. you crave for attention and yet you are no body. you have failed in everything you attempted in life – when you read this, deep inside you will know its true. it hurts to face the TRUTH right? but hey dont worry – there are plenty of people like you – some 20 million right?

for the record, majority of you are none innovative and really stupid. you cant even elect a good leader – your politicians were stupid enough to start the conflict and now the poor people are paying for the war. a country with so many natural resources and so much human capital – yet the biggest failure in the region. my guess was correct. you live in sri lanka and you must be STUPID since all the brilliant minds had migrated overseas long ago and the educated are working overseas too.

you may think life is cricket game? its not easy – you need to be innovative to win in life. According to INDIA-DAILY, sri lanka has one of the highest alcohol consumption in the world. could AREK be the cause of this brain drain at such massive scale?

83. Thakuru - January 12, 2008

Dearest Ravana or what ever looser name you have..How can you say majority of the people oppose the president when you have no clue about maldives president..Mark my word..He will win the next election and the morons in MDP will start shouting RIGGED..NOT FAIR ELECTION..cause thats what a opposition is all about..Once they loose its not fair..Thank god our country is NOT YET like yours and dont try making it like..Shameless Bugger

84. Thakuru - January 12, 2008

WOW Ravana..Now you seems to be an EXpert on Maldives politics..Man what a jerk

85. Hameed - January 12, 2008

Dream on Golhaabo’s (aka Dick-tator) gay boys! 2008 will be his last!! Whether you gay boys like it or not, he is history man!

86. Bill Allison - January 12, 2008

Hi Ravana,

I notice that alongside your provocative article of Jan 10 The Dhivehi Observer also hosted a link to the BBC article “Maldives boy ‘acted on instinct'”. Judging from the vulgarity of many of the responses to your satire there is a lot of that going on. The responses also suggest that such knee jerk reactions are ubiquitous and that the enlightened across the Maldivian political spectrum find them abhorrent.


87. mala - January 12, 2008

read it. love it! dont get the reactions of those who dont see the funny-ha-ha in it! perhaps we sri lankans have developed a much more open sense of humor due to the amount of ridiculousness we witness in our own country and politics on a constant basis. wish u could post certain material produced by a certain recently formed group here, which would help greatly in giving perspective to ur sense of humor. go boyfriend!:)

88. subcorpus - January 12, 2008

i’m a maldivian …
and i say your article was a welcome change …
all the news channels ever gave us was how brave the scout kid was …
may be he was brave …
may be he acted on instincts or whatever …
may be he is a national hero …
thats all good … all good …
though most would not admit it … your article would have made them laugh and or at least brought a knowing smile to their faces …
keep ’em articles coming … if we wanna hear everybody saying that maldives is a paradise … we should learn to take a harmless joke about it as well …
half the american bloggers are criticizing american government and their foreign policy and stuff …
American talk show hosts make fun of america and americans all the time …
grow up people … and dont attack a blogger for describing an incident in a different light …

89. fizan - January 13, 2008

LOL. Thanks for noticing us, mate. BTW here is an idea… we are spending hundreds of thousands of Rufiyaa paying and training the president’s security detail so I am gonna propose to the government to sack the bloody lot (thereby relieving some our budget deficit) and entrust presidential security to the local Scout association (and possibly, the KGA – kindergarten association). For a country whose assassin’s wield kitchen utensils and toothpicks, it should more than adequate, no?

90. andhu - January 13, 2008

i love this article. kind of made me look at the situation in a different way. hehe… i can imagine a cartoonish picture a lil boy with a knife and his mom screaming hey give me back my knife. while he tries to kill the HE. hmm i think ill draw scan and upload somethin like that .

91. Shual - January 13, 2008

This is a post by a distinguished thinker in Maldives – who is a personal friend of the Information Minister ( Yesh there is a propaganda ministry in Maldives ) in reply to your post.


92. Global Voices Online » Maldives: Aftermath of an assassination attempt - January 14, 2008

[…] and it is only natural that foreigners talk about it with some sense of humour as seen from this post by Sri Lankan blogger Ravana. Apparently, some Maldivian chap attempted to assassinate their President with a kitchen knife. […]

93. One one things :: Ego Massages :: January :: 2008 - January 18, 2008

[…] would be a violation of all things decent to wind up without mentioning the amusing Maldivians on Ravana’s blog. The Maldivians I’ve known have been thoroughly laid back and great fun. Two quick […]

94. Blanche Neige - January 18, 2008

hey Ravana………u’r blog was hilarious……..so is the reaction from maldivians who commented. Ignore the ones who did not get the humour ……we take ourselves too seriously and have a tendency to think too highly of ourselves. How did Gayoom stay in power for so long? the votes are rigged mate…..big time and yeah they also buy it … at the last moment they will start work on dredging some much needed harbour or building a much needed school in some island and con the islanders into voting him. And he is very good at playing the religion card…..anyone he disagrees with automatically becomes a christian missionary and we just love buying that crap from him. He is one intelligent manipulative dictator and we are stuck wtih him. Kitchen knife or not…..follow the story some more…now the accounts differ the photos show something else, and we have no idea what the boyscout was doing, what the president was doing or his bodyguards..so now its solve the mystery time…….miniature style

95. oiwa - January 18, 2008

Christian Fundamentalism in Sri Lanka:


96. thilhai amaa - January 23, 2008

thilhai menh fada boaveenun ravana kae gadah ingey fada boe kuthaain thakaa dhaan veenun maumoon buri boan!


ravana you suck you fucking asshole! go fuck your mum

97. Adam - January 24, 2008

Ravana, How is the Christian colonialist missionary hate mongering work going ?

98. Gunathilakarurathunam - February 3, 2008

You motherfucking racist. You’re just jealous that maldives is a better, peaceful and beutiful than your shithole srilanka. Why dont you go suck on maumoon’s 70 year old cock.

99. Palmyrah - February 6, 2008

Pretty juicy little backlash you got going here, Rav. You could make a book out of it: ‘What Maldivians Really Think About Sri Lanka’. One of your new correspondents would probably be able to suggest a snappier title.

Though I really can’t believe it takes all those words in Divehi to say ‘you suck fucking asshole! go fuck your mum’. Talk about syntactical redundancy.

100. Gunathilakarurathunam - February 17, 2008

I’m no fucking Maldivian. Why dont you Srilankans and Maldivians fuck each oher. Like you did in the past. Whatever you do, you can never outdo India. You were born to kiss Indian ass. Hahahahahaha

101. a true critic - March 27, 2008

fuck u sri lankan president before u write things about others. change constitution before trying to say others have this and that.
the sri lankan constitution article 38a says “the president cannot be prosecuted during the office or after the office.”
this means that sri lankan president cannot be held responsible even if he/she kill someone for no reason in the broad day light in front of a million wittinesses.
further more the sri lankan law protects the security of president even if they kill someone for no reason also they just have to say it is for the protection of the president.
so go ahead and change your constitution.
ask professor G L Peris to rewrite it

102. jadedshades - September 1, 2008

You know the thing i find the funniest in this whole post, beyond the humour you’ve got in your post of course… the fact that all these “Maldivians” are trying SO HARD to show you that they’re pissed off with what you’ve said, in the worst English I’ve ever read ANYWHERE in my life! “Sun of a bitch” Hellooooo… ha ha ha ha… Sweet! Guess their English education is pretty miniature too!

103. Reno - May 16, 2009

hahahahaha agreed 100% with jade… pathetic little mini-islanders! lmao😉

104. jaisham - July 6, 2009

i saved moumoon he gave me 100000 rf for it now we are richies

105. Adam - September 15, 2009

Pls. visit:

lets get more info to get political reality in MALDIVES.


106. El Timo - October 16, 2009

dude this came up when i google searched fucked in the ass 2: analy assassinated

107. ham be - May 23, 2011

no it did not!😛

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