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What the Ramayana Got Wrong: The Real Deal With Sita January 29, 2008

Posted by ravana in Uncategorized.

You heard wrong: I didn’t kidnap Sita.

I didn’t even want to meet her

‘Cos I’d heard she was a cow.

But then I saw her and – wow!

She was a bit of alright!

Okay, so maybe

That dude Valmiki

Heard it differently –

You know how these things get twisted.

Is it my fault that Ram, limp-wristed,

Didn’t give her any of what she insisted

On with me? It wasn’t her intention, poor girl,

To have a vile paparazzi scribe unfurl

Her private affair on the bed of history

(Although some may call it mythology,

but not at all in the way I mean).

It’s none of their business; it would seem

To me: It was my life my love and my mistake

To give her more than she would take.

Could take. Should take.

All she wanted in the end,

Was clean air and a dirty weekend.

A bird in the hand is already a handful.


1. kulendra - January 29, 2008

Nice one! Although I’m sure there’d be quite a lot of comments on this one:)

2. ramram - January 30, 2008

Well at least you’ll get a lot of fundy hits from across the water

3. Azrael - January 30, 2008

he he vow this is a version i like

4. Darwin - January 30, 2008

I guess you made her chicken wings for dinner while you were at it?

5. ravana - January 30, 2008

Yeah, she seemed to have a penchant for the local… er, poultry.

6. santhoshi - January 30, 2008

I should probably start attacking you like the maldivians but I did burst out laughing. Will tell a prayer later this evening to apologise to ram,valmigi and sita that I laughed at your poem!

7. Angel - January 30, 2008

Hillarious… they should include alternative literature like this in school curricula!

8. pinkboxinggloves - February 1, 2008

This is hilarious!:) Good one!

9. Dili - February 1, 2008

You know you really should’ve let her do the cooking. I mean shes visibly shocked @ your chopping skills😀

10. vivimarie - February 5, 2008

i love this! absolutely witty and twisted:) your (re)interpretation and (de)construction of history is the real deal. i know of another very serious and feminist poem called ‘sita speaks’ written by an Indian economist, which is absolutely fabulous, i will email it to you if i can find it.

11. d - February 7, 2008

Hilarious!! Like the other commenter from “across the water” I too must say a prayer and beg forgiveness _ after I’m done laughing !

12. Lets Hope Elizabeth Moir School Gets The Story Right « ravana.wordpress.com - February 7, 2008

[…] sent my friend my version of the story with a note saying that I hope they get it right. My friend replied and said that they […]

13. bhopale - August 16, 2008

Hi there, the perspective is different. Ravana is considered to be one of the biggest sanskrit scholars ever in Hinduism. He authored the Shiva Tandava Stotram (check Youtube), an essential part of Shiva worship till date. The kidnap of Sita was in reaction of the so called ‘cutting of nose and ear’ of Ravanas sister Surpanakha by Rams hot head bro, Lakshman. This ‘cutting nose and ear’ could be a metaphor for a more serious abuse.

On the other hand, Ram broke the Shiva bow to marry the Shiv bhakt Sita, he killed the Shiv bhakt Bali, and ultimately defeated the biggest Shiv icon of them all, Ravana. Ram was an incarnation of Vishnu, Ramayana essentially is a tale of sophisticated Vishnu outdoing the grass root Shiva. However, Vishnu required two epics (Ramayana and Mahabharata in association to The Bhagwat Gita) to establish himself, against the charm of Shiva.

Nothing personal dear Ravana, just business.

14. roger - August 19, 2008

the pleasure of an orgasm is the ultimate reality.
ordinary people can experience it for finite seconds.
druggies get it for some hours after getting stoned by popping ecstasy pills,dope,acid pop,lsd etc.
seers,saints and spiritually elevated people experience it for extra ordinary lengths by altering their consciousness after controlling their mind and tuning it to the cosmic consciousness thus terming the pleasure as unending spiritual bliss.
doesnt matter wat ravan did with sita and vice versa(till ram came to rescue) and who really knows what they did while alone.they could have had sex they, could have courted in the form of a platonic relationship, they could have meditated togehter, etc etc.

the point is that the soul in reality is the localisation of that ecstasy/bliss/orgasm which exists endlessly/infinitely ,ever increasing exponentially as god- the ultimate energy.

p.s. i am from somewhere across the “water” aswell.

15. Shyamal Chatterji - April 22, 2009

Dear Ravana,

I came back to this ‘blog’ 3rd time since I found this one through an internet search of Sita and Ravana !

I have chosen a few articles from the internet to copy/paste in my sita.doc and this piece …… hmmmm, why not!

This is irreverence, and you know that !!
A lot has been written, apart from the straight line story of Rama-Sita-Lakshman-Ravana , on Sita,Ravana and Meghnad ( “Slaying of Meghnad’, by Michale Madhusudan Dutt,Bengal) and other characters too.

But,I have not come across much about Ravana’s sexual prowess/energy,conquests and his libido . Have you ?

Best wishes.

16. Kanika - December 29, 2009

I am fan of meghnad but Ravana was helluva fighter.He lost to vali,Indra
Bali and even Dasrath.

17. CT - August 27, 2010

How rude if you to write of Sita like that? Whats that you lankans hate about INdians and Ram, Sita most importantly??? Know that Lanka orginally had only demon tribes and you are all a miz of north and south indians only…

18. mukesh shrimali - March 16, 2011

i am mukesh shrimali from ahmedabad
ravan was very breve & powerful brahmin

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