What the Ramayana Got Wrong: The Real Deal With Sita

You heard wrong: I didn’t kidnap Sita.

I didn’t even want to meet her

‘Cos I’d heard she was a cow.

But then I saw her and – wow!

She was a bit of alright!

Okay, so maybe

That dude Valmiki

Heard it differently –

You know how these things get twisted.

Is it my fault that Ram, limp-wristed,

Didn’t give her any of what she insisted

On with me? It wasn’t her intention, poor girl,

To have a vile paparazzi scribe unfurl

Her private affair on the bed of history

(Although some may call it mythology,

but not at all in the way I mean).

It’s none of their business; it would seem

To me: It was my life my love and my mistake

To give her more than she would take.

Could take. Should take.

All she wanted in the end,

Was clean air and a dirty weekend.

A bird in the hand is already a handful.

18 thoughts on “What the Ramayana Got Wrong: The Real Deal With Sita

  1. I should probably start attacking you like the maldivians but I did burst out laughing. Will tell a prayer later this evening to apologise to ram,valmigi and sita that I laughed at your poem!

  2. i love this! absolutely witty and twisted:) your (re)interpretation and (de)construction of history is the real deal. i know of another very serious and feminist poem called ‘sita speaks’ written by an Indian economist, which is absolutely fabulous, i will email it to you if i can find it.

  3. Hilarious!! Like the other commenter from “across the water” I too must say a prayer and beg forgiveness _ after I’m done laughing !

  4. Hi there, the perspective is different. Ravana is considered to be one of the biggest sanskrit scholars ever in Hinduism. He authored the Shiva Tandava Stotram (check Youtube), an essential part of Shiva worship till date. The kidnap of Sita was in reaction of the so called ‘cutting of nose and ear’ of Ravanas sister Surpanakha by Rams hot head bro, Lakshman. This ‘cutting nose and ear’ could be a metaphor for a more serious abuse.

    On the other hand, Ram broke the Shiva bow to marry the Shiv bhakt Sita, he killed the Shiv bhakt Bali, and ultimately defeated the biggest Shiv icon of them all, Ravana. Ram was an incarnation of Vishnu, Ramayana essentially is a tale of sophisticated Vishnu outdoing the grass root Shiva. However, Vishnu required two epics (Ramayana and Mahabharata in association to The Bhagwat Gita) to establish himself, against the charm of Shiva.

    Nothing personal dear Ravana, just business.

  5. the pleasure of an orgasm is the ultimate reality.
    ordinary people can experience it for finite seconds.
    druggies get it for some hours after getting stoned by popping ecstasy pills,dope,acid pop,lsd etc.
    seers,saints and spiritually elevated people experience it for extra ordinary lengths by altering their consciousness after controlling their mind and tuning it to the cosmic consciousness thus terming the pleasure as unending spiritual bliss.
    doesnt matter wat ravan did with sita and vice versa(till ram came to rescue) and who really knows what they did while alone.they could have had sex they, could have courted in the form of a platonic relationship, they could have meditated togehter, etc etc.

    the point is that the soul in reality is the localisation of that ecstasy/bliss/orgasm which exists endlessly/infinitely ,ever increasing exponentially as god- the ultimate energy.

    p.s. i am from somewhere across the “water” aswell.

  6. Dear Ravana,

    I came back to this ‘blog’ 3rd time since I found this one through an internet search of Sita and Ravana !

    I have chosen a few articles from the internet to copy/paste in my sita.doc and this piece …… hmmmm, why not!

    This is irreverence, and you know that !!
    A lot has been written, apart from the straight line story of Rama-Sita-Lakshman-Ravana , on Sita,Ravana and Meghnad ( “Slaying of Meghnad’, by Michale Madhusudan Dutt,Bengal) and other characters too.

    But,I have not come across much about Ravana’s sexual prowess/energy,conquests and his libido . Have you ?

    Best wishes.

  7. How rude if you to write of Sita like that? Whats that you lankans hate about INdians and Ram, Sita most importantly??? Know that Lanka orginally had only demon tribes and you are all a miz of north and south indians only…

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