Guest Post: The Punch Line

Submitted by Yakkada Yakka on June 12, 2009.

We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch-line“. Colonel Nathan R. Jessep in the movie “A Few Good Men”.

Fri May 12, 2009 3:46pm EDT – SOMEWHERE WITHIN A DENSE EDITORIAL (Reuters) –

More than 7,000 adjectives were expended in the final throes of the article. The number of ad-verbs is possibly three times the official count.

Scanning over the area, one could see that the words were trapped in a sliver of sandy opinion over a turquoise lagoon of propaganda.

The protagonists, claiming no use of heavy imagery – “we only used similes and analogies” – insisted on minimizing collateral euphemisms.

Despite this, a cursory examination shows clear areas where a freewheeling judgement had smashed into a metaphor, causing heavy symbolism everywhere. The brutal bombast shook alliteration violently.

The Dictionary and Thesaurus issued a joint-decree condemning the unedited use of redundant pejoratives.

Acronyms we spoke to claim that massive exaggerations rained down on them until the final hours, punctuating them to within an inch of their lives.

The only escape came from jumping to a conclusion, and then swimming against the undertone to finally reach a safe interpretation. Many arguments, too worn-out to continue, submerged under the allusion, unable to fight the rising conceit.

As night gave into daylight, this trickle gave way to a flood of hyperbole.

Even then, the respite proved brief, as the pressure from the unmanned aerial assumptions was relentless. With nowhere to turn, shelter was often found under a make-shift allegory. “Everywhere we looked headlines were screaming.”

Those who fled were hit by constant flashes of polarisation.

In the final hours, after a lot of confusion, the end of the sentence was found. Ominously, however, many claimed it was just a comma, not a period.

In the aftermath, presumptions were brought for triage to a transit commentary and then taken to an extreme. Sadly, more often than not, no significance could be salvaged.

For the misplaced, the long narrative is still not over. Many are desperately searching for missing facts, only to come up with anecdotes.

The weary acronyms are currently being held out-of-context, surrounded by sharp double-quotes under the vigilant glare of rhetoric.


This is the second solid post on this blog by Yakkada Yaka. After reading this last cracker, Ravana is scratching his ten heads, plotting a way to make his guest demons resident spirits. Solid shit, no?


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